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Thank you Elem, for the super beta as always.

and Audabee thanks for the providing a home for the words and the banner, and making it so easy to put them up.

Chesh for the tutorial, managed it without deleting the story. 

Tachyon for the lovely banner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Happy Anniversary.” Janeway whispered.

 

A tear rolled down her cheek and she brushed it away. She found it hard to believe that so many years had passed. Five, how the time had flown.

 

She could remember being onboard Voyager and those first five minutes after taking command of the ship. Every nuance of what it felt like. The smell, the subdued warmth of the lighting, the gentle hum of the warp core. The look of eagerness on the faces of her new crew and the first time she sat down on the captain’s chair.

 

Five days after they were pulled into the Delta Quadrant, was her next strongest memory. Voyager was in a shambles from the Caretaker’s power. Cavit was dead, Fritzgerald was dead, almost of a third of the crew gone and they were completely alone. The Caretaker’s array was destroyed and they’d made an enemy, all in the space of those one hundred and twenty-five hours or so. She remembered feeling completely hysterical and then overwhelmed by the magnitude of the task that lay in front of her. Getting home, a distance of seventy thousand light years, with absolutely no support or back up, in a starship manned by a crew, of which almost a third was composed of the criminals she’d been sent to apprehend.

 

Of course giving into those feelings was unacceptable, there were one hundred and forty-five people whose needs to she had to consider. She remembered leaning her head against the bulkhead in the ready room, feeling the gentle vibrations of her ship and whispering, ‘You will get us home, wont you?’

 

Five months, it was hard to believe that they’d been in the Delta Quadrant that long. They’d been through hell. The Delta Quadrant was unrelenting in terms of the number hostile species that they’d come across. One after another and each seemingly more determined to destroy them than the next. She’d faced them down each one of them, even the Vidians whose very existence depended upon harvesting organs from humanoids. Voyager had proved to be great ship, nimble and responsive, getting them out of harm’s way each time.

 

It was also at that point in time that she’d come to realize how much she relied on her First Officer, the Maquis Captain. She remembered watching him in sickbay, his body intact but his consciousness gone and feeling fearful that she would lose him - his counsel, his friendship and more.

 

She’d leaned then against that same bulkhead feeling bereft. When the crisis passed and the doctor had restored his consciousness, she needed to touch him and feel that he was whole, to hear his voice and know that he was back with her.

 

Five years! They’d been in the far end of the galaxy for five years. In that time, they’d made amazing progress. Voyager had been almost destroyed several times, but each time they’d managed to bring her back. If only damaged relationships could be so easily put back together. She’d done what she needed to save her ship but in the process, torn her crew apart, in particular the one relationship that she valued above all else. He’d looked on her behavior towards Noah with horror and, in anger, she’d confined him to quarters. It was one of those moments where she’d known what she could lose but stubbornly refused to back down. It wasn’t just a matter of bringing Ransom to justice; it was also about saving her ship from the aliens that were out to destroy them.

 

She’d watched Chakotay walk away and felt nothing, not then. Sitting in the ready room days later, she knew that she would have to make amends. She needed him.

 

He’d come into the room and she’d asked about the state of the repairs.

 

“Coming along.” was his abrupt response and turning, he’d walked out into the bridge.

 

She’d followed, looking over the wreck that it had become. He remained silent and she tried once again to engage him, asking about crew morale, knowing that if she didn’t make the effort to engage him, he would withdraw even further. This time he responded. The relief that flowed through her was almost too much to bear. It was then that she’d noticed Voyager’s dedication plaque lying on the ground and she blinked back the tears, her ship had been through so much but it was still standing.

 

Straightening, she’d turned to him to show him what she’d found, and together they’d put it back up, healing themselves and their ship. The memory of that moment was something that would remain with her forever.

 

This five year anniversary was different though. Five years back on earth. Bittersweet  because she was home, but no longer captain of  Voyager. She rested her cheek against the now cool bulkhead. It was completely still. There were no vibrations from the warp core. Another tear slid down her cheek following the track of the first. She’d tried to hold them back, but it seemed silly when there was no one there to see her crying over the ship.

 

She didn’t hear the door slide open, only felt his arm on her shoulder, pulling her close. Muffled against his shoulder, she cried.

 

“I should never have let you come in here alone.” His words, a soft whisper on her cheek.

 

“I told you stay away, remember?” She sniffled.

 

“Kathryn, you know I can’t do that.”

 

She smiled gratefully “I know Chakotay. It’s been harder than I thought; knowing that the next time I set foot in here, she’ll be a museum.”

 

“I’ll be forever grateful because she brought you into my life.”

 

Kathryn felt the tears start again and he rubbed his hand soothingly across her back.

 

With one last hiccupping sob, she turned and patted the bulkhead, and then, slipping her hand into his, she nodded “Let’s go home.”

 

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