Starfleet Medical

Neelix ran through the programs available on the small vid screen. Terran programs could be interesting, but today he was not in the mood.

A soft knock on the door brought pulled his attention away from the vid and to the familiar … yet slightly different figure standing in the doorway. “Chakotay! Or should I be calling you ‘Captain?’”

“No, just Chakotay. I gave up the ‘Captain’ part a few years ago,” he chuckled. “Besides, I don’t think this is regulation,” he said, pointing to his long braid of hair, now laced with gray.

“Thank you so much for coming to see me,” Neelix said sincerely.

His friend’s gratitude pricked at Chakotay’s conscience. Best he didn’t know that B’Elanna and Mike had threatened to phaser him had he not joined them.

“Well, this was a surprise,” Chakotay allowed as he sat on the bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Well, outside of the fact that I’m dying, never better.”

To his credit, Chakotay didn’t flinch. “I am sorry, old friend.”

They sat for a few moments, saying nothing, just looking at each other. “I suppose, if it has to be this way, “ Neelix began … and then it all came tumbling out – his sorrow and grief about leaving his family, especially his young daughter

Chakotay just listened, letting him talk it out. Finally, Neelix fell silent and wiped the tears from his face. “I’m sorry, Chakotay.”

“Don’t be. I’m honored to be here for you.”

They sat in companionable silence for a while, but it became obvious that Neelix had something else on his mind.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’d like to know something, but I’m not sure how to ask.”

“Well, maybe the direct route is best.”

Neelix swallowed. “All right then. What happened between you and Admiral Janeway to cause such a rift?”

Chakotay sat back in shock. “Neelix … I don’t know what she’s told you …”

“If you mean the admiral,” Neelix interrupted, “she hasn’t told me anything. And that’s the problem: She hasn’t mentioned you. Not once. And when I’ve asked our other friends about you, no one seems to know much about where you are or what you’re doing. But they do seem rather uncomfortable.”

Chakotay sighed. “It’s complicated.”

“It’s a shame, then. You two were so close, even though you did have some hellacious disagreements at times.”

Chakotay half smiled. “That, we did.”

“I’m not going to pry, but I can’t image how any disagreements here could be worse than what you two faced out there.”

Chakotay swallowed. “It’s not Kathryn’s fault, Neelix. It’s mine. Mainly because of my pride.”

“Then apologize to her.”

“I said some pretty unforgivable things. I’m not sure she could … or should … forgive me.”

“I have a hard time believing that.”

Chakotay sighed again. “Maybe, but even if she could forgive me, it’s best for both of us right now if we stay away from each other.”



***

Starfleet Medical: Kathryn

Neelix stirs and I put down my PADD to check on him. He’s growing weaker now, in spite of the doctor’s best efforts. Sam has set up a rotation of folks so that someone is with him during the day and evening, with the doctor taking the overnights.

I silently rail against fate as I look at him: we’re close, damn close on blasting Baldy Rock to pieces. But I fear that by the time we contact Dexa, it will be to tell her that her husband is dead.

He opens his eyes, and I tuck away my despair and smile at him, the way I do when my children are sick. I get him a drink of water, and replicate some broth. He takes both, and remains sitting up, meaning today will be a good day.

We sit in silence for a while, and I busy myself with another PADD to give him a bit of privacy.

“It’s strange,” he finally says.

“How’s that?”

“I’d always wondered how you all were … if you’d made it home safely. And I’m happy that I was able to see almost everyone. But I realized that I’d been remembering us all as we were on Voyager … how close we all were. It seems strange that everyone has gone their separate ways.”

“Well,” I say softly, “while we all shared something extraordinary, this was the reason I wanted to get Voyager back home; so we could all go back to our lives.”

“I know, and I obviously changed, too. I supposed I just imagined that everyone was happy and remained close. Guess I didn’t account for things like Sam’s marriage falling apart … or a rift between you and Chakotay.”

I jerk my head up in shock. “I realized something was wrong early on,” he continues.

“Neelix,” I begin.

“When he was here last week, I asked him about it.”

Well, this I have to hear. “And what did he say?”

“Only that it wasn’t your fault. And he’s not sure you could forgive him.”

I close my eyes for a moment to compose myself. “I see.” It’s all I can say.

“I have his number … perhaps some day you could call him and straighten this out.”

For a moment, I have to bite back the anger that I’m feeling toward Chakotay. How dare he put our friend … our dying friend in this position. “Did he ask you to do this?” I finally ask.

Neelix shakes his head. “No, no he didn’t. He actually said he thought it would be best if you two stayed away from each other. “

My anger subsides a bit and I take my friend’s hand. “Neelix, you know I would do almost anything for you. But I can’t do this. Chakotay is right; it’s best we stay away from each other. “

He just smiles sadly. “I hope someday you change your minds.”

I’d like to reassure him, tell him that someday we’ll be friends again on some level. But I can’t.



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