“I've never had so much time on my hands.”
True to the universal constant that some particular declarations of their offspring - or more the tone in which they were announced - can instantly bring the corresponding parent into a high alert condition, Q interrupted his monologue on the beauty of subatomic movements and whirled around, only to witness his son having his arms dug elbow deep into a blue pulsating thread.
“Junior! I told you a thousand times not to reach into timestreams! You risk wiping out the whole universe!”
“That’s so bloody unfair. No provoking the Borg, no messing around with time for me. But it’s okay when Aunt Kathy or Chuckles screw timelines?”
“That is something entirely different.”
“Why?”
“Junior, because you are Q. These mortals are so restricted in their linear perception of time – their only chance to change things in their past is to jump back within a timeline. If humans were not so annoying I would almost pity them. Besides, there is this emotional thingy between Kathy and Chuckles. Some would define their useless attempts to change the timeline again and again to have a second chance as … romantic.”
“Emotional thingy?”
“Oh, this mawkish emotion where humans suddenly indulge themselves with writing soppy poems and repelling mating habits. I’m not willing to reduce myself to the level of human existence to fully comprehend this nonsense.”
“So if Aunt Kathy and Chuckles knew their mutual feelings this time looping would stop and the universe would be saved a lot of troubles?”
“Son… you know, this idea of yours really shows true Q-ness. Besides, I suppose I still owe your aunt a favor or two. Well, apparently it’s my fate to assist this pitiful species in its evolution again.”
Two flashes disappearing outside the space-time continuum and reappearing on a battle-scarred Voyager newly arrived in the Alpha Quadrant marked another chapter in the history of Q/human interaction.
Voyager’s official report remained very vague on this incident. It neither included the traditional announcement of any Star Fleet captain in such a situation…
“Q! What the hell are you doing here?”
… nor Q’s response …
“Tztztz. Kathy, Kathy. You really have to work on your attitude. But humble as I am, I’m willing to overlook your rude manners and offer you again the chance of a lifetime.”
… or Janeway’s reaction at this unpleasant memories stirring declaration …
“Chance of a lifetime? Q. I thought we’ve clarified that before. I’m not going to mate with you. Never. Never as in ‘at no time’ or ‘any timeline’.”
… and certainly not Q’s next response.
“Captain, I’m flattered that you remember. But no, what I had more in mind was you mating with Chuckles. And speaking of timelines, this jumping backwards each time you or Chuckles figures out that living without the other is not so much fun has to stop. I can’t have you interfere with cosmic order because of your unresolved amorous affairs. Don’t look so shocked my dearest Kathryn. I know the mating stuff has been a while for you, but it really shouldn’t be so difficult to admit that you still are keen on this yokel and vice versa.”
Voyager’s report completely omitted the fact that the Q’s public disclosure of the command team’s mutual feelings on Voyager’s bridge was not received very well by the subjects in question. Janeway’s first calm then increasingly more outraged response speech over respecting others’ private matters and the Q’s inability to comprehend love remained unmentioned as well as Chakotay’s disbelieving expression at Janeway’s indirect confession. Also unmentioned remained the command team’s first livid reaction on finding out that the Q had locked them into the ready room or the fact that Voyager’s crew silently supported the Q’s actions and was unusually cooperative, even if very subtly.
Utterly unofficial was the gradual change of noises issuing from the ready room in course of the five days of the command team’s imprisonment, which at first alternated between eerie silences and yelling concertos until it eventually mutated into sounds which usually indicate the performance of certain human mating rituals.
Indeed Voyager’s short and concise official report only contained the few cryptic remarks that the Q stayed on board for five days, caused a multi-day communication silence and confined Voyager’s command team after a short and fierce debate into the ready room for the whole duration of their stay until CO and XO were able to resolve a long overdue personal issue.
It has to be seriously doubted that after this events either of the Q was able to understand the concept of love more profoundly. This, however, changed when Q junior, matured a few billion years on Q-timescale, accidentally met Taya Janeway, a 31th century descendant of Voyager’s command team, and love almost unhinged the universe.
But that is another story.