Death has always been her enemy… and friend.
They first met when she was a child, on her way back home from a lost tennis match through the pouring rain. He saw her walking along the muddy field, the hot tears streaming from her brilliant blue eyes mixing with the cold raindrops on her face. A miserable child, hell-bent on punishing herself for letting her teammates down. The girl had lost her sense of direction in the downpour and the darkness, exhausted herself while walking in circles. He watched as she lay down on the muddy ground, her head on her bag, eyes closed. He longed to go to her, hold her close to his chest and shelter her for all eternity. But a man with grey hair and pain in his eyes came and whisked her away from him, brought her home to the warmth of her bed and the worry of her mother. And Death stayed behind in the pouring rain.
Years passed. Years that turned the girl into a woman. And Death loved her. But he soon realized that she loved another. And that was a fact he couldn’t accept.
The first who tried to pursue her was a boy at the Academy Institute. Death jealously watched them holding hands, exchanging tentative kisses under the stars and whispering secrets and promises to each other. He tried to ignore his feelings, but in the end, the green-eyed monster in his heart reared its ugly head and made him implant dark thoughts into the boy’s mind “She doesn’t love you, doesn’t need you… you are weak, just a burden, nobody understands you”, which ultimately led to the split-up of the young relationship. The girl went to Starfleet Academy, where she found friends, met new species and excelled in her studies. She met Justin on her first assignment Icarus. At first, the older Lieutenant ignored her, but they grudgingly learned to work together. Six months later, Admiral Paris and Ensign Janeway were captured by the Cardassians. The young woman had to listen to her mentor’s screams as he was tortured while she lay helplessly in a metal cage, singing loudly to herself the lullaby her mother used to sing to her when she was small to shut out the sounds from the outside world. She knew that when the Cardassians would be finished with Paris, they would come to kill her. Death knew it too, soon she would be his. But then Justin, the Ranger, rescued her. Back on the ship, Kathryn found out that what Justin felt for her wasn’t indifference or repressed hostility – it was repressed love. Once more, promises were made and kisses shared. And Death had to watch from afar.
On her twenty-seventh birthday, Justin proposed. A perfect day with warmth and sunshine, her family celebrating with them… two months later, she stood alone amidst the snow and glaciers on the ice-covered pole of Tau Ceti Prime, pain in her broken leg and her broken heart as she realized her father and fiancé were gone forever.
Caught in her grief, Kathryn didn’t leave the cocoon of her bed for the next six months. Death always hovered close, whispering words of sadness and despair into her ears. He wanted her to let go of her life, so she would finally be his. This time, her salvation came in form of her little bugging sister, who dragged her out of bed, back into life and sunshine, and a half-frozen puppy she found in the snow. Petunia, her new canine companion, caused a chance meeting of two old friends, which ultimately allowed Kathryn to overcome her grief and continue living. While she rose through the ranks of Starfleet in the following years, the friendship turned into love, and when Mark proposed, Kathryn said yes … but Death was jealous. Two times already he had interfered in the life of mortals to get rid of his rivals and win his prize, but each time someone had foiled his plans. He knew that this time it wouldn’t be enough to just separate the two lovers; he would have to isolate her from everything she knew. In her desolation, it would only be a matter of time until she would turn to him, and he would be her only hope. So the day she left Deep Space Nine with her new state-of-the-art ship in search of the Maquis was the last day she saw her fiancé, her dog and her home in the Alpha Quadrant.
Death had thought that by bringing her into the Delta Quadrant, as far away from home as he was capable of, thrown together with Maquis terrorists and hostile aliens, he would finally reach his ultimate goal of getting his hands on Kathryn Janeway. If not killed by the hands of the Maquis Captain Chakotay, who felt betrayed and therefore hated the Federation, she would surely fall from the weapon’s fire of the Kazon. But Death hadn’t contemplated the one thing that would be his downfall: when they first laid eyes on each other, Kathryn Janeway and the Maquis Captain fell head over heels in love. So instead of trying to take over the ship, the Maquis were integrated into the Starfleet crew and together they fought the Kazon and started their long voyage home. Death was seething. Again he had been close to getting what he wanted, and again he had lost. On the day Janeway and Chakotay took Voyager’s shuttle Sacajawea for their honeymoon trip, Death had enough. He caused their crash landing on an uninhabited planet. While the First Officer desperately tried to revive his wife, Death forced the Captain to relive the last hours again and again, always resulting in the ending of her life.
“Kathryn… You have to come with me. You’re no longer a part of this crew.” Kathryn whirled round when she heard the male voice ringing through engineering. The stranger stood near the warp core, his dark clothing a strong contrast against the brightly illuminated room. “Who are you? And how do you know my name?” Voyager’s captain wanted to know. “Have you caused all this?” Death smiled. “Let’s say, I am your guardian angel.” Kathryn looked skeptical at the man now standing directly in front of her. “My guardian angel? I’m a scientist, I don’t believe in this kind of thing.” Death smiled sweetly. “It doesn’t matter what you believe, or if you believe in nothing at all… your scientific mind should accept that there are some things you can’t really explain. Do you remember the lost tennis match, when you tried to walk 30 miles through the storm? I was there with you and stood guard… As I have been for your whole life. And it hasn’t been easy to protect you… you are sometimes a very reckless person.” Something inside him snapped when he saw her eyebrow rose in disbelief and made him continue. ”I mean, what did you think you were doing when you dated that Cheb-boy and went with him to that mansion? The fire could have killed you! And instead of running away from the flames, you had to stay and try to put it out! That was insane!” Voyager’s captain became angry and glared at the strange man “There was an old lady in the house, she was ill and needed medical attention. I did what every human being would have done and rescued her! If you are really who you claim to be, you should be happy that a life was saved that day!” “But it is my responsibility to keep you save, Kathryn. Not some insane hag!” Death spat back. He was seething by now. How dare she question his motives? “I had to have a little talk with your boyfriend to remind him of his situation. Good for him he came to his senses pretty quickly and left you alone. I thought you were safe after him, but then you got yourself captured by that Ranger! After all that I had done for you, everything to keep you separated from all dangers… and you even agreed to marry him! I couldn’t accept that.” “Stop right there.” Kathryn angrily interrupted his flow. “What do you mean you couldn’t accept my engagement? And what have you done to Justin and Cheb?” Death glared at her. “I just showed them their place in the pecking order. They had no right to touch you. You’re mine! Cheb was easy; he just used you to boost his ego anyway… Justin’s case was a little harder. He had fire in his heart; I couldn’t simply suggest he leave you. So I cooled his temper with a little ice. ” Kathryn’s jaw dropped. “What?! Why?” Death became suddenly serious. “Don’t you understand? I love you. I want you to be with me. Only me. And now that you’re dead, we can finally be together like we are destined to be. You have to come with me!” Kathryn was shocked. The dark-clothed man claimed to love her while confessing simultaneously that he had driven away her first boyfriend and killed the second, together with her father. “You are responsible that I lost Justin and my father! I’m staying right here on my ship! Besides, I love Chakotay, I could never love another.”
Suddenly, she found herself lying on a hard and cold rock floor, looking up into the worried faces of Chakotay and the Doctor. “She’s coming back, Doctor. It’s working. Keep trying, Kathryn, fight to come back to us!” Chakotay urged her on.
“What happened just now? I saw Chakotay and the Doctor; they are trying to bring me back to them.” Kathryn found herself back on Voyager. “Ignore it, it was an illusion.” Death looked desperate. He was so close… “You have to come with me now! I’ve waited so long for this moment!” She shook her head. “No. I don’t believe that it was an illusion. I trust them. This is the illusion, an illusion you created! I will never come with you. I’ll stay! For all eternity if I must.” Kathryn was sure she had to go with him in her own free will; it seemed he couldn’t force her to leave her ship. And now that she had seen the Doctor and her husband trying to save her, hat felt herself lying on a rock on a planet’s surface and learned that her fiancé and father had been killed by the being in front of her, who claimed that he loved her, she wouldn’t ever go with him. “If you could force me to come with you, you’d have done it already.” Janeway stood her ground when he towered above her. “You are a fool Kathryn. You decline my offer of everlasting joy… you’re not worthy of my love. I could have shown you the wonders of the universe…” Kathryn frowned, hands on her hips. “I see the wonders of the universe every day; you don’t have to show me. I see them together with my crew… my family. So go back to the place you’ve come from and leave me alone.” Together with the echo of her last shouted words, the illusion of Voyager around her, as well as the shrunken and broken-hearted dark-clothed man in front of her faded away.
She found herself again lying on the rocky surface of the planet where the shuttle had crashed, with Chakotay and the Doctor hovering above her. She could see pain in the brown eyes of her husband, as well as the joy of having her back with them. But above all, she could see and feel his love when he picked her up and carried her to the waiting shuttle to take her back to the real Voyager, back to the safety and comfort of their shared quarters.
And Death, rejected and ultimately defeated by Kathryn Janeway, stayed behind.
The End.