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Written for Vanhunks for VAMB's Secret Santa in December 2007.

 

 

Celes' Legacy

 

That sure felt funny she thought as the knife made contact with her back. Looking down her front she could see the red coloured tip of the knife peaking out of her stomach. Just as her mind registered the fact that she probably was in really deep shit this time, she felt the knife being pulled back out of her body. As she fell forward her last thought was: Mom will be so pissed...then everything went black.

 

 

 

Crewmen Tal Celes just never could get things right.

 

It began with her mother being in labour with her for over 36 hours, after being two weeks past her delivery point - a story her mother was never tired to tell her again and again. At school she managed to blow up a whole laboratory. She accidentally kneed her boyfriend in the groin after receiving her first kiss and until this day she didn't quite understand how she managed to get through Starfleet academy at all.

 

So it didn't surprise her that she had managed to get herself killed ‘in the line of duty' to protect her Captain.

 

Or at least she thought she'd gotten herself killed. She wasn't so sure of that yet, since she didn't think she'd done that right either.

 

That didn't surprise her in the very least though...

 

 

"I'm sorry, Captain, she's dead," the EMH said, as he closed his tricorder and put the instrument on a tray beside him.

 

As he turned back to his Captain he saw her close her eyes slowly and shake her head as if in denial.

 

"She saved my life," she whispered.

 

"I know, Captain. Again I'm sorry. Maybe you should rest for a few hours," he advised her.

 

"No...I think I'll only change my uniform and get back to the bridge." With that she turned and left sickbay without looking back.

 

The doctor turned back to his now dead colleague lying on the bed.

 

"Computer record death of Crewmen Tal Celes on Stardate 54914.37."

 

"Confirmed."

 

With a soft sigh he nodded and turned to his office to work on the official records.

 

Neither he nor the Captain before him had seen the shell shocked Tal Celes standing in a corner.

 

"Oh my....we may have a problem here..."

 

 

Kathryn felt numb. Just numb. She didn't know what to do or what to feel.

 

With each passing day the burden of this command weighed heavier on her.

 

Right now she only wanted to take off her dirty and blood shed uniform, put on her favourite pyjama and crawl into her bed with her childhood teddy, she kept hidden at the bottom of her closet next to the shirt she had stolen from Chakotay one day. Okay, so she hadn't stolen it, he had lent it to her and she'd just ‘forgotten' to give it back to him.

 

But she knew she was supposed to be on the bridge soon, so she didn't have time for that luxury.

 

But as she stood next to her bed and put her uniform jacket into the recycler, flashes of this day's events came back to her mind.

 

She and her away team had flown with a shuttle to yet another friendly alien world, with aliens suddenly not so friendly anymore. Suddenly there had been some shoving and some yelling and then she'd been pushed to the ground by someone. Sometime later she'd found out that it was Tal Celes who'd shoved her to the side and thereby catching the deathly brunt of the knife that was intended for her.

 

Though they'd somehow made it back to the shuttle without further causalities, by the time they had been within transporter range to Voyager, Celes had been dead.

 

Tears threatened to fall and before she could stop them, she flopped on her bed and began to cry in earnest.

 

"Are you doing this often?" suddenly a voice asked.

 

Surprised and startled Kathryn leaped up from her bed and stared at Celes.

 

"But, but...," she stuttered. "What are you doing here? You're dead!" She brought her hand up to her temple and sat down on her bed again. "Wonderful, seems I finally got crazy. Was about time..."

 

"Captain, please no, you're not imagining me. I'm here. I'm not sure why or how, or why you're the only one who can see me. I tried to talk to various crewmembers on my way here, but nobody saw or heard me."

 

"But the Doctor said you're dead," Kathryn said whispering.

 

"And I think I am," Celes said and as she saw Kathryn shaking her head she continued. "Listen. My people believe that a shadow of someone can remain when a person died before the mission, this person had for his or her existence, wasn't accomplished. Maybe the reason that you can see me is that I have to do something for you! Or show you a new perspective of your life!"

 

"Oh, please! This is ridiculous! You don't have to give me this ‘Charles Dickens' crap. What I'm doing here?! I'm talking to my imagination!" Kathryn said confused.

 

"Again, I'm not your imagination!" Celes was getting a little angry by now. "I don't think your imagination would do something like THAT!" With that Celes pinched Kathryns arm, hard.

 

Kathryn flinched "Ow! Are you crazy? That hurt! When did you get this daring?" Kathryn screamed with tears streaming down her cheeks. Not because her arm did ache, but more because she was confused and feeling vulnerable right now.

 

"Probably the moment I died!" Celes screamed back and at seeing the shocked face of her Captain continued. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to say that," with a softer voice.

 

They stared at each other for a few moments as the door chime broke the uncomfortable silence.

 

Kathryn sighed, she knew only one person would disturb her now.

 

"This will be Chakotay."

 

"Well, I think I'll leave you two alone then," Celes turned to the doors, but looked back over her shoulders again. "My mother always told me that it isn't healthy when you don't talk about your sorrows or fears with someone. I know you're a very strong person. I always envied you that. But even the strongest human will break if he'll keep all his anxieties to himself. Don't do this to yourself, Kathryn. If Chakotay is out there, talk to him!"

 

"But I'm scared...," Kathryn whispered.

 

"But sooner or later you'll break if you'll keep this up...," Celes trailed off.

 

The door chime rang a second time. Kathryn sighed again and wiped her eyes.

 

"Come in, Chakotay," she ordered and as the doors swished open and Chakotay stepped in, she could see Celes slip out of her quarters, just before the doors closed again.

 

"Is everything all right, Kathryn?" Chakoty asked as he took a step forward. "I heard you shouting and I was getting worried."

 

"I don't know, Chakotay," Kathryn replied as she pressed her hand on her forehead. "I'm just feeling so confused and sad right now..."

 

Chakotay took her by the arm and led  her to the couch. "Here, just sit down and I'll get you some tea..." After he'd returned with her hot tea, he contacted the bridge to inform them, that they both wouldn't be on duty anymore for the rest of the day. He then fetched a blanket for her from her bedroom closet, wrapped it around her and sat next to her.

 

"Do you wanna talk?" He asked quietly as she leaned her head on his shoulder.

 

"I think I would like that...."

 

 

Kathryn stood straight in her dress uniform as she waited for her crew to take their places in the Mess Hall. The area was cleared of all tables and the chairs were standing in rows. Before her stood a casket covered with the Federation's flag)

 

It had been two days ago that Celes died on that away mission and had her ‘talk' with her. She remembered the last two nights she'd spent with Chakotay, mostly talking about the last seven years and how she now reached a point were she felt that she'd break any day now and wouldn't be able anymore to led (led) her crew home. The first night she fell asleep on her couch mid-sentence talking to him and he'd carried her to her bed and laid down next to her, keeping her in his arms the whole night. When she woke the next morning she'd felt more rested than she had in years. She also realized that she had slept through the whole night, an occurrence that didn't happen the last five years.

 

Last night they had dinner together and as Chakotay stood up to leave she took hold of his arm and bid him to stay again that night.

 

They weren't quite lovers -yet- , but she knew it would be only a matter of days now.

 

She hadn't heard or saw any sign of Celes again and she was still confused if this all had been a strange event that her mind had made up and if Celes really found her way to the prophets at last.

 

She felt Chakotay step up next to her and gave him a slight smile then nodded and took a deep breath.

 

"All hands, attention. Honour guard."

 

 

The End

Chapter End Notes:

 

 

 

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author.  The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise.  No copyright infringement is intended.

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