[Reviews - 1] Printer
Table of Contents
- Text Size +
Author's Chapter Notes:

Preface: This series was inspired by a comment made on the VAMB board, in which someone lamented that J/C were a bit like the Marshal and Miss Kitty on "Gunsmoke" – never getting together, but never being allowed to move on. What might happen, I wondered, if J/C did move on…

"Thank you for coming down, Admiral Janeway. We certainly appreciate your help on deciphering that star chart," Admiral J’Tai said.

"You’re welcome," I tell him. "When my Lt. Kim is available, I may put him at your disposal for a while. He's quite familiar with those charts."

J’Tai just nodded as the turbolift’s doors opened. But we’re not at the lobby; rather, it’s "Astrometric labs," according to the sign. I look at J’Tai, wondering if this is a mistake, or if I’m being shanghaied…

J’Tai just smiled in his most courtly manner as he ushered me out of the lift. "If you have a moment … I did promise my second that he could say hello. I believe you know Jack Herrick?"

So it is a set-up. "Jack? Heavens, it’s been years," I say, thinking of the good-looking, if awkward cadet who was my lab partner in biology. Not that I paid much attention at the time.

"It’s Captain Herrick now, of course," J’Tai said. I nod, searching my memory. "Of course…. I remember reading that he earned a Starfleet Cross?"

J’Tai nodded in return. "He did, for his wormhole work. It enabled us to get a few licks in on the Dominion. Here we are," he said as we arrived at the lab.

The room is large, and dim. I can just make out a figure standing by a console. I’m still adjusting to the light as he walks toward us.

Perhaps I should have paid more attention at the Academy. Seems middle age has been quite kind to Jack. He’s filled out, and his dark hair is graying at the temples. Quite distinguished.

I’m trying to keep my smile neutral, but inwardly, I’m laughing at myself. "Don’t get too excited," I tell myself. "He’s probably married and has six children."

"Admiral," he said warmly as we shake hands. "It’s been quite a while."

"It’s nice to see you again, Captain," I say, idly wondering if his voice has always been so deep. "So, what are you up to here?"

"Overall?" Jack asked. "I head the Beta section; I’m also captain of the Orleans, which runs mapping missions of the Beta Quadrant …. At least we were mapping until the war."

"And since then," J’Tai interrupted, slightly chiding him, "we’ve done wormholes. Including a project to find a wormhole that could bring Voyager home."

Ah, that’s the reason for the side trip. "I’m truly grateful," I tell them. I was amazed to learn of the number of proposals made to get us back. It’s humbling, considering that the Fleet was in the middle of a war.

"What were you looking at?" I ask, partly to change the subject.

Jack’s eyes light up like a kid’s. "We’ve learned in our Beta missions that the Alpha and Beta quadrant borders have pockets of quantum fluctuations. We call them ‘wormhole nurseries.’

"As you know, bombarding a pocket with verteron particles can create a wormhole. We’ve bombarded those nurseries several times, and managed to open up some rather stable holes … though the length tends to depend on the density of the fluctuations."

"I might add," J’Tai said, "that this discovery had some rather practical uses during the war. We found some of those pockets in the Gamma quadrant, fortunately in range of some Dominion facilities. We managed to open a few short wormholes and kept them stable enough to launch torpedoes. We did some major damage to those facilities, with minimal risk to our ships. That," he said, nodding at Jack, "is why the Captain here has a Starfleet cross."

"Anyway," Jack continued, "some of the data Voyager sent back led us to believe that there also were wormhole nurseries in the Delta …"

"And," J’Tai jumped in again, " we wondered what would happen if both ends were bombarded with verteron. "We’ve run some tests, and theoretically, we believe that we can create a wormhole stable enough to send a ship through … even if the two ends are light-years apart."

I gasp. "If it had worked …."

"Yeah," Jack nods. "We’d of sent you to one of those nurseries and opened a door, so to speak. Unfortunately, there are complications…."

"Like what?" Have to admit, I’m intrigued.

Jack motioned me over to the console, then started pressing buttons. Schematics of skeletal wormholes popped onto the screen. "For one thing," he says, "both starships have to be beaming verteron to keep the wormhole stable. Trouble is, as the ships get closer, the verteron intensity increases, and blows out the wormhole. I haven’t been able to compensate for that …."

I was hooked. "Punch up one of the simulations; I’d like to take a look," I say.

Neither of us noticed that J’Tai had left ….

******

I lean back in the chair and sip my now-cold coffee. "Amazing. This defies every theory I know," I say.

"I know," Jack agreed. "It’s damn frustrating." He looks at my mug. "More coffee?"

I shake my head and look for a chronometer. "Good heavens, it’s 20:00! We’ve been at this what? Five hours."

Jack looked slightly embarrassed. "Sorry. I’ve probably destroyed your schedule."

I have to laugh. "Couldn’t be too bad, or my adjutant would have tracked me down," I tell him.

"I probably shouldn’t keep you from your dinner, then," he said, as he shut down the console. I just shrug. "No plans. I’ll probably just head over to the officers’ club."

He quirks an eyebrow at me. "Do you like barbecue?"

"Ribs? Oh, yes..." I probably sound too wistful here, but frankly, I haven’t caught up on all of Earth’s food pleasures yet.

Jack grins. "There’s a place just off campus, if you’d like to join me."

This I hadn’t expected. On the other hand, attractive men don’t ask me to dinner every night …

******

"You know," I say between bites, "I’d forgotten how good barbecue can be."

He chuckles, "Well, Admiral," … he begins.

"Please, it’s Kathryn," I interrupt, pointing a rib bone at him. "I can’t be formal with sauce all over my face."

He laughed heartily – a very nice laugh, I decided. "All right Kathryn, I was going to say that I expect you crave a lot of things. At least I always did after a long mission."

I nod. "When I got back to my mother’s house, I demanded that she make caramel brownies."

He smiled and sipped his beer. "So, where is home?"

"Bloomington, Indiana." I pause and search my memory. "I seem to remember you’re from the Midwest, too."

"Sort of," he said. "My mom died when I was a baby. I lived with my aunt and uncle in Michigan, near New Traverse, until Dad remarried."

"Are they still up there?"

He nodded. "They ran orchards. My cousin took over the business, then bought a small winery nearby. For a while, I contemplated leaving Starfleet to join him. Even took some wine-making classes."

That surprises, me, though I don’t know why. "What happened?"

He grinned. "I was better at mapping stars than figuring fermentation times. Made my father very happy." He swirled his beer. "However, knowing a bit about wine has come in quite handy during my career."

"So why didn’t you suggest a nice wine to go with the barbecue?" I tease.

He just looks at me in mock horror. "And get laughed out of here? Some impression that would have made."

*****

 

We reached my apartment building before I realized it.

I figured he’d just say good night, but instead, he leaned against the wall. "I have to tell you, you’re not the person I remember from the Academy." I definitely see a twinkle in his blue eyes.

"A little less stiff-necked?" I asked casually.

"That’s a good word," he allowed with a slight smirk, and without thinking, I swatted him.

"Well, I think those years in the Delta Quadrant knocked that out of me. Besides, you’re not the same either."

"Oh, and what was I?" he asks, clearly amused..

"A geek."

"A what?"

"Twentieth-century term," I try to explain. "It’s someone who’s a bit too wrapped up in science and technology."

He laughed again. "Well, that’s accurate," he admits.

"Well, I guess I’m a geek, too, because I truly enjoyed working with you today," I tell him sincerely.

He beamed. "I enjoyed it too. Would you consider working with me again?"

The answer jumped out of my mouth. "Absolutely."

I was halfway to my apartment when it hit me: I must have been having fun. I left my briefcase at the office….

****

I sigh as I toss my class PADDs onto the desk. I’m still having these out-of-synch days, like I hadn’t quite caught up with myself .. or with life. The counselors tell me it’s normal, that it takes time to get acclimated.

I look through my messages … nothing personal.

Correction, nothing from Chakotay.

He’s been on my mind lately, and not just because I’ve been dickering with the assignment committee to give him command of Voyager, provided he wants it. I simply miss him.

My adjutant buzzes. "Admiral, Captain Herrick from Cartography is here."

That’s the best news I’ve had all day. "Send him in."

"So, what brings you here?" I ask casually, though I can see he’s holding something behind his back.

"Oh, well," he said, as he pulls out a PADD. "I thought if you were serious about working with me on the wormhole project, I’d bring you the research codes."

He didn’t have to bring them personally. Normally, officers send such things by courier. But I realize just why he’s playing delivery boy, and I’m very, very flattered.

"Oh, I was definitely serious, Jack," I tell him, sounding way too flirtatious. I buzz my adjutant. "Lt. Parker, would you contact Captain Herrick’s adjutant over in Cartography? See if you can find a mutual time for us to meet for the next few weeks."

"Serious enough?" I ask

"Absolutely," he replies, handing me the PADD. "I’ll let you get back to your work..."

"Actually, I was about to get a cup of coffee," I say quickly. "Want some? I could use the company."

He looks a bit surprised at my admission. Frankly, so am I. I wave him toward the wing chairs in the corner as I pour two cups from my silver service, which Parker has the good sense to keep filled.

"Bad day?" he asks casually as he sips at the cup.

"No .. and yes …" I start. "I keep expecting things to be same. I finally got to my favorite coffee shop today….."
"And …."

"And it’s a Denobulan restaurant. Has been for four years."

"Oh, ouch," he says, sympathetically.

"I should know better," I say, shaking my head.

He laughs. "If it’s any consolation, I ran into the same thing after my Beta missions. The last time, my apartment building disappeared."

"What?"

"True," he said. "Developer bought up the block right after I left. When I got back, it was a holotheater complex."

"That would be inconvenient," I say, laughing for the first time today. "Things go up so quickly though … I don’t even recognize the buildings any more .. especially that angular one."

Jack looks confused. "Angular?"

"Yeah," I say, getting up and going to the window. "Over there," I say, pointing down to the offending building.

He moves behind me to look, and I catch the spicy scent of his aftershave. "Oh, that monstrosity," he begins ….

I hear him say something about a Ferengi consortium, but truthfully, my physical reaction to him has commanded my full attention. My heart is pounding, and I can barely breathe.

I quickly close my eyes and steady my breathing so I don’t make a fool of myself. Just as I turn to face him though, his comm badge chirps. Saved.

Jack’s eyes flash annoyance, then apology, as he taps the badge.

"Captain … Captain Tucker’s office just called. He’d like to move your meeting up to 15:30."

Jack’s looking rather sheepish. "Tell Tucker I can’t make that, but to go ahead without me. .I’ll catch up."

"High level meeting?" I tease, happy for the distraction.

He grimaces. "Golf game."

"Oh, yes, definitely the fate of the Federation," I say, laying it on a bit.

"You play?" he asks.

"Fraid not," I say, shooing him to the door. "Go on, I don’t want to be responsible for you missing a tee time."

He turns before he reaches the door. "Next week?"

"Next week," I assure him.

After he leaves, I flop into my desk chair. Then with renewed energy, I tackle next week’s class syllabus.

****

We fell into a pleasurable routine, Jack and I. Work in the lab late Thursday afternoons, followed by dinner, maybe a stop at a nearby coffee shop. In fact, Thursday is now my favorite day of the week.

Can’t say I’m surprised. After two engagements and several entanglements, I can see what’s happening. His early week "updates" … my sudden need to change uniforms before going to the lab … the casual touches … the bantering …. uh, huh, the chemistry’s there, all right.

Perhaps I just have a weakness for men that I work with … on the other hand; he is attractive – very attractive. And funny. He also doesn’t ask for Tales of the Delta Quadrant, though he certainly hears enough unsolicited ones.

So why can’t I relax and let nature take its course? My eyes are drawn to the credenza, where sits a photo from Voyager … Chakotay and I at a holodeck gathering.

Bingo.

It’s funny, somehow I thought we’d finally get together once the command barriers disappeared. But damned if something didn’t pop up in its place: Seven; the crap when we got home ….. We’d come close a couple of times, but still, nothing.

I lean my head back in frustration. What did that Matrix alien tell me ... that if there was a smooth path, or a rocky one, I'd choose the rocky one?

****

"So," Jack asks as he walked me home, "are you going to the picnic Sunday?"

I nod. "Lynne called a couple of days ago." Lynne being Lynne Tucker, who I know from the Al-Batani, and who in the small world of Starfleet married Jack’s golfing partner.

"So what are you making?"

I laugh. "Making? As in cook? I hate to tell you this, but cooking is not one of my strong points."

"Too bad. Guess we’ll just have to stop at a market on the way."

"We?"

He stops, and I suspect he just realized what he’d said. "Ah, sorry. Didn’t mean to be presumptuous." I can see him take a breath. "Will you come with me?"

Suddenly, my chest constricts, and I have to take a breath, too.

"Yes … yes I will," I answer, as he beams.

****

Owen Paris calls me Friday afternoon. The committee has decided: I can offer the Voyager to Chakotay as well as the captain’s pips. I’m delighted, but I’m also feeling a bit guilty, as I realize I haven’t given him a lot of thought the past couple of weeks….

****

The Tuckers’ shindig is going full blast. I wander from the food to watch the volleyball game, which I see Jack has joined.

One look, though, and I nearly drop my sandwich. He was distracting enough in shorts and T-shirt; he’s obviously spent time in the gym. But now, he’s taken his shirt off, revealing a nicely tanned, muscular chest, and a dark down of hair that trails down his stomach and into his waistband….

"Nice view," Lynne says from behind my right ear.

"The bay is nice," I deadpan.

She merely laughs. "I must admit Kath, Jack’s taken with you; Mike said you were all he talked about on the golf course," she said quietly.

"Well," I say carefully, "I’m surprised he’s still single."

"Probably that starship captain’s disease," Lynne teased. She paused. "Quite a while back, he was crazy about Kirsten what’s her name…" She shrugged. "She was a researcher at Daystrom. He was always rather vague about how they met. Anyway, he was doing eight-month tours of the Beta, and I guess things fell apart." She shrugged. "Though I’ve always suspected that he blew off steam in Briori."

"How’s that?" My Beta knowledge is rusty..

"From what I’ve heard," she whispered, "that place makes Risa look like a monastery."

Oh, great … but I’m saved from having to change the subject by Mike Tucker, who’s bearing down on us with an open bottle and a couple of glasses.

"You two have got to try this," he says. "I think Jack’s been holding out on us."

I take the freshly poured glass. It’s an amazing liquid, alternately musky and sweet, but refreshing.

"Wow!," Lynn exclaims. "What is it?"

"Hell, I don’t know," Mike replies, as he peers at the indecipherable label.

"Have you seen his wine collection yet?" Lynne asks me, to which I shake my head. "You won’t believe it. I don’t know how it got it by the trade police."

Mike shakes his head. "You know starship captains – and Kathryn will back me up on this – get some latitude on things. Especially those who run classified missions."

 

I’m saved again by Jack’s bellow: "Mike! I was saving that for later!"

"Hey, it is later," Mike says as he hands the bottle back to him, and he and Lynn beat a hasty retreat.

"Sorry," I say as Jack shakes his head at the nearly-empty bottle. "S’alright," he answers, as he pulls me over to a nearby tree to sit. "At least you got a taste."

"So what is this?" I ask as I pull the bottle from him and empty it into my cup.

His answer sounds like "bark," but with more of a rolled "r." "It’s sort of a grape .. almost a cross between a grape and a blackberry," he explained.

"It’s wonderful," I say, handing him the glass. "I hear you’ve got quite the collection of wines."

He snorts a bit in mid-sip. "Lynne’s taken me for a bootlegger," he said after his swallow.

"And are you?" I ask as I take the cup back.

He just laughs. "I hosted a dinner on the Orleans, trying to persuade the First Minister of Briori to let us drop off a communications satellite. I served him cherry wine, of all things, and he loved it. So, for a few cases of my cousin’s wine each mission, the Federation had a satellite drop; I, in return, got several cases of Briori wine, of which I was careful to share with the brass."

He’s edging a bit closer with every word; by the time he finishes, his mouth is just a couple of inches from mine. I don’t know which one of us closed the gap, but next things I know, our lips are very nicely entangled. His warmth mixed with the sweetness of the wine, and I open my mouth to taste him more deeply. We finally part, and look at each other for a long moment before Jack moves in again.

Unfortunately, we’re interrupted by a stray – or perhaps well-aimed -- volleyball that smacks the tree, just above our heads.

At least we didn’t lose any of the wine.

*****

He’s quiet on the way home, and I wonder if he’s having second thoughts. That was dispelled pretty quickly when he stole a kiss in the parking garage. Then again in the elevator. Once inside, I pull him to the couch, and we start necking like a couple of teen-agers.

It doesn’t take long for my body to start making demands; I can tell that his body’s doing the same. But as much as I want this, it’s not a good idea; not until I settle something. I’m about to slow things down when, with a groan, he pulls away.

"Sorry," he says as he pulls us both up. "Didn’t mean to jump you…"

"You didn’t," I tell him. "I wanted it, too."

He looks relieved at this, and reaches out to touch my face. "As much as I’d like to take this further, tonight may not be the best time."
"Oh?"

My chief cartographer on McKinley called this morning. The feeds from the Beta mapping satellites show some new wormhole fluctuations. I need to take a look." He sighs and leans back. "I’m leaving at 07:00."

"Ouch," I say.

He looks at me quietly for a long moment. "I’m not sure how to ask, but are you sure you’re ready for this? You haven’t been back long … I don’t want to push."

Where is this headed, I wonder. "I admit, I didn’t expect you to come along .. or that you’d be so wonderful. Am I ready? I honestly don’t know."

He looks at me again … "Is there someone else?"

Uh, oh .. I think I know what he’s getting at. "Why do you ask?"

He sighs. "I’ve heard people speculate on your relationship with your first officer."

"No!" I say sharply enough to make him flinch. "Sorry," I say more quietly. "I just am very tired of defending myself about something that didn’t happen."

"All right," he said. "What about now? You do have the man’s image in your office."

Crap. Well, I might as well be honest. He deserves that much. "Chakotay and I spent seven years together under very difficult circumstances. I wouldn’t have survived without him," I say simply. "He is very dear to me, and always will be. Does that translate into a relationship? I honestly don’t know. We’ve not explored it."

"Do you intend to?"

What else can I say? "Remains to be seen," I reply quietly. "It’s something that needs to be settled."

He strokes my cheek, then gets up. "Maybe it’s best that I go up to McKinley, then. "If you want to talk … otherwise, I’ll give you a call when I get back."

He’s halfway to the door when I call to him. Two steps later, I’m in his arms, hugging him fiercely. "I’m sorry," I whisper.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he whispers back. Then he’s gone.

I thought I had cried myself out in the first few weeks after Voyager’s return. I was wrong.

****

Fate, if that’s what it is, at least decided not to leave me hanging. A few days later, Chakotay calls to announce that he’s back from visiting his sister. I immediately invite him to dinner.

****

I check and recheck the place settings, then the replicator settings as I wait for Chakotay to arrive. The champagne is chilling, just in case. I’m anxious to see him, not only so I can relay the Fleet’s offer, but to hear what he’s thinking. More precisely, is he thinking about an "us?" And even more precisely, how can I broach this? I dropped a pretty damn broad hint when we went to see the Maquis memorial, to no avail. Perhaps I should replicate a sledge hammer.

****

Things went swimmingly, for a while at least. He looked rested, more relaxed than I remember. When he accepted the offer, I pulled out the champagne and we drank a couple of toasts before dinner.

Afterwards, we settle on the couch, finishing off the champagne. We were so relaxed … it seemed so natural to reach up and caress his face … run my thumb across his lips.

Nothing.

I gently caress his tattoo. He still won’t take the bait – he just looks at me, so maddenly calm. My patience, however, is running thin. I should have replicated that sledge hammer. My hand snakes down his cheek, and stops as I curl my fingers around his chin.

"Chakotay," I ask as softly as possible. "Where are we?"

"Kathryn …" he begins.

"Where are we, Chakotay? You and me? Or did I just imagine there was an attraction between us?" This is dangerous, I realize. But we’ve spent seven years dancing around each other. And damn it, I’m tired of dancing.

He just looks at me, sadly. "Kathryn, you’re my dearest friend, and there was a time when I’d hoped for more. But the barriers are still there."

Uh, oh. "I’m not your commanding officer any more. And the other problems have been settled," I say softly.

"That’s not what I’m talking about," he said.

I really don’t understand. "All right then. Enlighten me."

He stood up suddenly and walked to the window. "Come on, Kathryn. I know you’ve heard the rumors about us."

Jack’s question echoes in my ears. "Yes, I’ve heard. And they can all go to hell."

He turns to look at me. "Easy for you to say. You’re not the ex-Maquis. You realize, don’t you, that people will be saying that I only got Voyager because of you."

"And since when do you care about gossip? I certainly don’t." I’m up now and practically stalking him. Then it hits me. Something is wrong. Very wrong.

"Chakotay, I'm not buying this," I say more quietly. "You've never been swayed by gossip. What's going on?" I pause, then ask the question that I'd hoped to avoid: "Is this about Seven?"

I see the sadness pass over his face, and once again hear the other Admiral’s words about Seven dying in Chakotay’s arms.

"Partly," he finally admits. "Can't say I enjoy being dumped, though I should have expected it."

"I'm sorry," I say, "I didn't mean to push."

"It's all right," he said softly. "Though I have to admit, I'm surprised to be having this conversation."

He's surprised? "How's that?"

He shrugged. "I had hoped for more, once. But after a while, I realized you couldn't ... well, we couldn't..."

"True," I answer. "I regret that. But to be honest, in another way I don't. We had too much at stake."

He nods. "I know. But so many things happened ... I thought you had given up. Hell, I gave up ..."

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I start to understand what things he's talking about ... the Equinox, the Borg, all the times we tore our relationship apart. When we stitched it back together, I guess we left out a few pieces.

"I'm sorry, Chakotay, I hadn’t given up. I hoped that we could get past everything."

"I'm sorry, too."

There wasn't much to say after that. He left. I drained the last of the champagne, and learned again that I still had some tears left.

****

The autumn sun’s offering just a bit of warmth to my mother’s porch. Not that I care. I’m too busy staring off at the distance when Mom’s voice floats in from the kitchen.

"Kathryn, do you want pork chops or chicken for dinner?"

"Either," I say, more petulantly than I realize.

The answer brings my mother out on the porch in a flash. As she stands before me, I remember how I used to feel just before I got a scolding.

"All right Kathryn, what’s wrong with you? I’m about to send you back to San Francisco."

Ouch. I have been a bitch. "I’m sorry, Mom."

"So," she says, leaning on the rail. "Are you going to tell me what’s wrong, or do I have to call your counselor?"

I consider for a moment, then the answer hits me. "It’s Thursday."

"Thursday? What on earth are you talking about?"

I sigh. "It’s a long story," I warn.

"So, we’ll eat out."

I start talking then, telling her about Jack, and Chakotay, and how I basically got dumped twice in the same week, though that’s a bit dramatic. When I finish, she’s quiet for a moment.

"I’m sorry, sweetheart," she finally said. "At least Chakotay was honest with you."

"After some prodding."

"Give the man some credit; that's not an easy thing to say. Besides, he probably was scared that you would take his ship back."

"Mother ...."

 

She sighs. "I know, Kathryn. You've had more than your share. But the man's not a replicator, you know. You can’t make him feel something he doesn't feel. Or don’t want to feel."

"I can’t even make a replicator do my bidding," I retort.

Mom laughs, then sobers. "Look, maybe he did you a favor. Now that you know how he feels, you can move on without feeling guilty. Sounds like the opportunity is certainly there."

"And that would be … Jack?"

She shrugs. "You're the one who mentioned him. From what you say, you two have some things in common: an interest in science, Starfleet family. I suspect you have some feelings for him, or you wouldn’t be so damn grumpy about Thursday."

"You’re right," I admit.

"See .. and how about sex?"

"Mother!" I can feel a flush starting.

She just laughs at my discomfort. "That’s part of it, dear. You’ve been engaged, so don’t play innocent. So, does the idea appeal to you at all? Or have you already crossed that bridge ..or should I say, bed?"

"Ah, no .. we haven’t," I stammer, remembering our necking session. Mom just keeps looking at me, expectantly. "Well, yes, the idea does definitely appeal," I finally admit, not quite believing we’re having this conversation.

Mom laughs again. "You don’t have to take my advice, but I think, all things considered, an affair would be good for you. Might improve your mood," she says, finishing with a swat to my arm.

"Wait a minute," I say, grabbing her hand. "Are you saying that I should have a casual affair with Jack to take my mind off Chakotay? Doesn’t seem fair to Jack, does it?"

Mom gives me the look that she reserves for dense math students. "I’m not suggesting you casually use the man, Kathryn. I’m suggesting you give him a fair chance, and give yourself a fair chance at some joy. You deserve that much." She squeezes my hand. "Now … pork chops or chicken?"

"Pork chops," I say, feeling slightly dazed.

****

 

With Mom’s advice nagging at me, I spent the trip back contemplating old friendships and new lives. My internal debate continued into San Francisco, and followed me back to my apartment.

With a sigh, I replicate myself a cup of coffee, and sit down to check my messages. Usual stuff ...an invitation to a science reception at San Francisco University .... a message from Lynne: She knows someone whose golden retriever just had a litter of puppies. Was I interested?

A puppy? The thought lightened my mood a bit ... I scroll up, and stop at a familiar name: HERRICK, CAPT. J.W.III. I punch it without a second thought, and Jack's face fills the screen. He's in a T-shirt, looking a bit disheveled. From the looks of it, he just got out of bed.

"Hi," he says, slowly, and I suspect he's been drinking. "I can't sleep, and I just wanted ... I just wanted to tell you I miss you, and I'm afraid I acted like a jerk the other night." He sighed and shook his head. "Now I am acting like a jerk ... I'll talk to you when I get back. G'night."

 

I restart the message and freeze the screen. "Now what am I going to do with you?" I affectionately ask the image.

****

I throw the PADD back on my desk in disgust and look at my console for what has to be the thousandth time. Well, staring at the thing isn’t going to make Jack return my call. So, for the umpteenth time, I swivel my chair around and contemplate the horizon....

Parker’s voice floats over the comm: "Admiral, Captain Herrick is returning your call." Do I detect a smirk in his voice?

No matter. Jack appears on the screen, looking a bit tired.

"Hi." It’s all I can manage.

"Hi," he replies. At least he doesn’t look nervous.

"I'm sorry I missed you. I was in Indiana."

He grimaces. "Maybe it’s just as well."

I stop him. "No, I’m glad you called," I say.

He brightens, and I'd like to continue, but this isn't a secure channel, so I change the subject.

"How are the wormholes?"

He grins. "Energetic. My staff is going to be busy for a while."

I fight the urge to squirm in my chair. "So .. when are you coming back?"

Ever so briefly, he raises an eyebrow. "Tomorrow, actually, though not till late."

I nod and go for broke. "You doing anything Saturday evening?"

That surprised him. "I don’t think so. Why?"

"Want to go to the science reception at SFU?"

***

I’m pacing again, checking my reflection in the mirror for the umpteenth time. The earrings are on; the dress isn’t trailing a hem, and why am I suddenly acting like a schoolgirl?

Finally, the door chimes, and Jack is standing there, holding a bunch of roses.

He follows me to the kitchen while I grab a vase. I notice how his formal suit accentuates his broad shoulders. I also notice the appreciative look in his eyes, and a shiver runs up my spine. This, I hope, will be an interesting night.

***

As receptions go, this is a good one, with plenty of booze, food and interesting talk. Fortunately, Jack’s in his element here; wormholes and star clusters make for good conversation.

I see Starfleet colleagues here too; in fact, several have gone out of their way to say hello. Perhaps I’ve become cynical in my middle age, but I can’t help but wonder if they’d be so friendly had I arrived with someone else….

It seems the university has called out the media, too. The press is here in full force.

"Are you sure you’re not the guest of honor?" Jack whispered after a third – or was it the fourth -- photographer snapped our picture.

I shake my head. "No, and thank heavens for that."

"Well then" he says, looking around. "Maybe we should get out of their way." With that, he slides his hand under my elbow, and leads me into an alcove off the ballroom. We barely get out of sight when his mouth crashes down on mine. I answer him with the same ferocity until we have to come up for air.

"I’ve missed you," I say, as I sink into his arms.

"I’ve missed you, too, he whispers. I'm about to answer when he whispers again, more urgently. "Let's go outside."

We slip out the nearby exit, into a corner of the courtyard. No benches, just a low wall. But at least we’re alone. He leans against the wall, then clasps my hands in his.

"So, I have to know," he says quietly, though his grip belies his calmness. "Am I getting the consolation prize tonight?"

This wasn’t the conversation I expected. "What?"

"Come on. Is this the, ‘Thanks for escorting me, and you’re a really nice guy, but there’s someone else’ date? Or have you settled things?"

In answer, I step into him, our foreheads touching, and lightly run my finger along the underside of his jaw.

"If I take you home, you won’t go running off to McKinley again, will you?" I whisper, surprised at how low and liquid my voice sounds. His pupils dilate in response.

"Oh, no," he breathes as he pulls my mouth to his.

The decision made, my body began demanding the satisfaction it had been denied for most of the last seven years. From every indication, Jack's body was giving him the same message.

I vaguely remember heading to the transporter station. I know we made it to his apartment; I don’t know how my dress came off. What I do remember clearly is being on the floor, holding onto each other for dear life as we pumped frantically though the waves of pleasure.

Afterwards, I remember laughing, and Jack carrying me to his bed so we could repeat the process again – and again.

****

I awaken to sunlight and the sound of water running in the bathroom. I lie there, too content to get up; not that I have anything to wear at the moment.

Jack comes in a moment later, towel tucked around his waist, his hair still damp. "Good morning," he says as he shucks the towel and climbs in beside me. "Good morning, yourself," I reply between kisses.

"You know," he says, as we snuggle into the pillows, "had I realized how much fun you’d be, I’d of made a play for you at the Academy."

I prop myself up on an elbow and snort. "Sorry, but you wouldn’t have stood a chance. I was much too busy being the perfect cadet."

He laughs. "You’re probably right; I was too much of a … what was that you called me?"

"A geek."

"That’s right," he laughs again.

"You know," I tease, trailing my hand across his chest. "You have no idea what you’re getting into."

He stretches under my touch. "Let’s see, two middle-aged starship captains … both of us most likely set in our ways. … Yep, could be trouble," he teases back. "But you know," he says, pulling me on top of him. "I’m looking forward to the adventure."

I look at him for a long second, and contemplate the promise I see in his eyes.

"I’m looking forward to it, too," I whisper as I lower my lips to his….

-fin-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You must login (register) to review.