Stars of Home by Cheshire
Summary: Written for the VAMB Guess the Pairing contest 2013 - includes an alternate version as the second chapter
Categories: Characters: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 2 Completed: Yes Word count: 2146 Read: 14394 Published: 16/06/13 Updated: 16/06/13

1. Chapter 1 by Cheshire

2. Chapter 2 by Cheshire

Chapter 1 by Cheshire

Written for the 2013 VAMB Guess the Pairing contest

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or this universe, but I do enjoy playing with them.

Notes: When I started writing this balcony scene, I came up with two versions that were kind of situated around two specific lines of dialogue.  I chose to enter the first chapter in the contest as my story submission.  I am choosing to include the alternate version here simply as chapter two.  

Thank you Ewige for running this contest a second time!  



 

Stars of Home

She stares out at the stars.  Ever since she was a little girl, she’s known these stars.  The Little Dipper is the first one she ever learned, but Orion was always her favorite.  Unfortunately, they’ve seemed dimmer since her return home than she remembered.

“Enjoying the view?”

She doesn’t bother turning to acknowledge the newcomer.  She should be springing to attention, given his rank, but she’s known him long enough that she has confidence he won’t take her silence personally. 

He steps further out onto the balcony, moving to stand beside her, looking out at the dark sky.  “You’re missing your own party, you know.” He can feel her consternation even without turning to see it, but at least she’s finally acknowledged his presence. “It wasn’t my idea.” 

“It sure as hell wasn’t mine.”

He chances a look in her direction.  “You should’ve known they’d want to fete you.” The sound of disgust she makes is enough to make him chuckle, but he holds up his hands in surrender when she rounds on him.  “Easy, Captain, I’m on your side.”

Her flash of anger boils back down to a simmer, but with her fists still tightly clenched, and a roll of her head and shoulders, she betrays the stress she’s fighting.  “I apologize,” she says with some effort.  “I know you’re on my side, and I’m grateful for that.”

“But?”

“But,” she admits through clenched teeth, “after a month of having only you on my side, now I suddenly have everyone on my side. It’s as if the past month never happened, like they expect me to just forgive and forget.”

“That’s exactly what they expect.  The debriefing process wasn’t personal.”

“Like hell it wasn’t,” she growls.  “They poked and prodded and questioned my every decision from the past seven years as if they had the slightest clue about what it was like to be out there.”

“And given the circumstances, they found you to be infallible.”

 The cold humorless laugh that escapes her sends a chill down his spine even as she gives him a watery smile.  “Infallible? Just shows how little they understand.” She shakes her head. “And now they want to give me awards.”

Her voice breaks on the last word and she turns away, moving as far away from him on the balcony as the small space permits. 

Understanding comes to him slowly.  “You wanted them to find you guilty.”

With her face mostly obscured in shadow, the husky tone of her voice sounds downright dangerous.  “I am guilty…of a great many things.”

The ominous turn of conversation was not what he’d been expecting when he’d stepped out to join her on this of all evenings.  Although knowing her as long as he has, even mentoring her through a few tough times, he is fully aware of her proclivity towards self-castigation. He just hadn’t been expecting to see it rear its ugly head this evening. “Whether you want to hear it or not, you’re a hero.”

She snorts in disgust.

“Take a look in that ballroom.  It’s filled with members of your crew and their families.  You brought them home sixty years before anyone else could have.  Because of you, families were reunited, lives were saved.”

“Lives were lost!” she snaps back.  “Because of me,” she continues lowering her voice, “under my command, lives were lost.” Her hand wipes quickly across her cheek. “Do you even remember Stadi?  Or Cavit?  What about Joe Carey?” she scoffs darkly. “I bet his wife wishes you hadn’t recommended him to me now.”

“Actually, she doesn’t.”  A third voice joins the conversation unexpectedly as a tall, slim figure joins them on the balcony. “I just finished talking with her.  She’s still extremely proud of Joe and knows that he died doing what he loved having taking a position he’d worked long and hard to attain.”

As the newcomer is one of the few members of her crew that’s actually seen her cry, it’s ridiculous that she feels as exposed as she does at his arrival. 

“Maybe if you went inside and talked to her and the others, instead of hiding out here-”

“I’m not hiding!” She stares at the two men, so similar and yet so different.  Their most frustrating shared trait is that neither of them is at all intimidated by her.  “I just…tonight should be about honoring everyone on our crew.  Not just me.”

The younger of the two men leans casually against the railing.  “So, why don’t you do something about it then?”

“Like what?” she asks tiredly.

“It’s your party in there.” He shrugs.  “Seems to me you could do pretty much anything you wanted to, short of murder, and get away with it.  If they’re going to foist all this celebrity on you, might as well use it to your advantage.”

“He’s got a point,” the admiral chuckles.  “Go in there and take command of the situation.  It’s what you do best.”

She looks between the two of them, her mind racing at the suggestion. The possibilities. “They did want me to make a speech,” she says finally.

Both men give her the same encouraging, mischievous blue-eyed grin.  She has to admit, she’s warming up to the idea. “But I’ve already told them I didn’t want to say anything.”

“Oh, I’m sure I can make some arrangements.  I know a few people,” the older of the two men says and turns to go back inside.

“And you’ll let the crew know?”

“Of course,” the younger man agrees, “but what exactly am I letting them know?”

“Tell them,” she hesitates for only a second, “tell them their captain needs their help one last time.”

He gives her a broad grin.  “They’ll come running.”

She watches him go, her mind already stringing some comments together that she doesn’t want to forget.  With a last glance towards the night sky before heading inside, she notices the stars of home seem to finally be burning brighter. 

 

 

 


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The pairing or trio is - Owen Paris, Tom Paris, and Kathryn Janeway

 

 

Chapter 2 by Cheshire

Notes:  This is an alternate version of chapter one using different characters in a somewhat different situation but probably on the same balcony.


Near Miss

The captain stares out at the dark sky, its twinkling stars so deceptive in their innocent appearance. Fingers grip the marble railing of the balcony, desperately trying to force some reason back into the universe. 

“Thought I might find you out here.”

The admiral’s appearance at the captain’s side doesn’t surprise him, but he’s in no mood to placate the senior officer. Thankfully, in private, rank doesn’t stand between them. 

“I couldn’t breathe in there.  I needed some air.”

“I’m sure you did.”

“Did you know they plan to give me an award?” the captain spits out. 

“Yes,” the admiral admits, looking out at the stars instead of facing the accusation. “You’re a hero, son.  Because of you, lives were saved.”

“Lives were lost!”

Finally, the admiral turns to face the younger man. “Yes, there were casualties, but they knew the risks.”

He slams a hand down against the railing in frustration. “She entrusted me with their lives; lives she saved a dozen times over, and after surviving seven years in the Delta quadrant I get them killed in a simple diplomatic ferrying mission.”

“It was a bad mix of space and politics, Captain,” the older man argues. “There was nothing simple about it.  You did the best you could and brought safely home more than most would have managed, including my so-”

His voice breaks off at the thought of how much he could have lost had any other man been captaining that ship.  He can’t bear to say out loud how broken he’d have been to lose what he’d only so recently been able to love. 

He clears his throat. “For that alone you have my eternal gratitude.”

“Your son is a fine first officer and a damn good pilot.  The way he jumped to the helm as soon as our pilot went down made him just as responsible as I am for getting us out of there with our lives.”

“That’s not the way he tells it.”

“Yeah?” He gives the admiral a ghost of a smile. “Well, he always was a good liar.” The smile fades quickly and he looks back down.  “I just…this night shouldn’t be about me.  It should be about that crew in there and the crewmen we lost.  We should be honoring them, not me.”

“Well,” a third voice joins their conversation unexpectedly, “they did ask you to give a speech.”

Both men turn to greet the newcomer, surprised at the sudden appearance.  The older man looks between the two officers and clasps his hands behind his back as he walks between them towards the door.  “If you’ll excuse me,” he mumbles more to himself than them, “there seems to be one too many admirals at this meeting.”

“I thought you were outside of the system,” the captain says finally, annoyed that he once again feels as though there isn’t enough oxygen in the air.

“I was,” she admits, her hand fidgeting at her side. “I got here as quickly as I could.”

“Why?”

She reels back at the question as if he’d struck her.  “Because.”

He hadn’t meant the question to be that harsh, but when they’d last parted company it hadn’t exactly been on good terms.  He’d wanted commitment; she’d wanted to wait.  Fine.  He could wait.  He’d wait now for her to articulate a better reason than just “because”.

In two strides she closes the distance between them, her chest practically bumping into his as she hisses up into his face, “Because the first reports of the incident didn’t include a casualty list.  Because I had to wait four long hours to find out that I hadn’t lost you.” She pokes a finger into his chest. “Because I know you so damn well, I know you’ll blame yourself for those deaths even though every report I’ve read about the incident proclaims that had it been any other captain, including myself, it would have been a total loss of all hands on board.”

Her eyes blaze up at him, daring him to challenge her on any of the points she’s just made,  but all he can think about is how the scent of coffee on her breath finally brings him home from the near miss catastrophe more than anything else has in the past two weeks since it happened. Without seeking her permission, he pulls her into an embrace, tucking his head down to her shoulder. 

“You have no idea how close it was,” he mumbles into her hair. 

She sniffs, her arms wrapping tightly around his back, then she lets out a watery laugh.  “You have no idea how many rules I broke to get here.”  She pulls back slightly so she can look up at him.  “I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner.”

He traces a tear off her cheek with his thumb.  “You’re here now.”

A subtle throat clearing from the doorway interrupts them. “Captain, they’re ready for you.”  Voyager’s first officer then smiles at her. “Good to see you, Admiral.”

“You too, Commander.”  She takes a step back, reluctantly breaking away from the embrace.  “Would you let the committee know he’ll be just a minute longer? The captain is finalizing his speech.”

It’s a wonder to all that the commander manages to maintain his humor to just a smirk as he heads back inside. 

When they’re alone again, he asks, “My speech?”

She shrugs.  “They want to honor you.  You want to honor your crew.  These are not disparate agendas.”  She reaches out to straighten his tunic. “Accept their platitudes and then tell them about your crew.  Tell them about who you think the real heroes were that day.  You’re good at weaving stories. Make them be remembered.”

He grins, a few colorful stories already forming in his mind.  “I might be able to come up with something.”

“I thought you might.”

“And then afterwards?”

She tucks her hand into the crook of his arm.  “Then we can go home. Together.”

Finally, he can breathe.


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The pairings here are - Owen Paris, Chakotay, Kathryn Janeway, Tom Paris


Thanks as always to Audabee for giving my words a home!

 

This story archived at http://www.fictioning.net/viewstory.php?sid=449